When most of us think of luck, we think of shamrocks and superstition–like luck is something that happens to us. But lucky can be a feeling we have about our lives, and whether or not we feel it is not dependent on finding our Leprechaun or pot of gold. Feely lucky is something we can feel at any time, and we can feel it simply by choosing carefully what thought we compare to our current situation.
Laundry
When my husband was attending law school in Boston, we lived in row houses. There was a community laundry that was a few doors down. Boston winters are no joke…the temperatures get so low they freeze the little particles of moisture on your lips. One winter morning, I found myself trying to tromp through knee deep snow with my 4-month-old, a hamper and soap in order to do my laundry. I had to prop open a heavy wood door open with my bottom to try to load everything piece-meal inside (including my baby) and get it all down the stairs to the wash room. When I got down there I discovered I was short enough quarters! “This is so hard” I thought. I dreamed of having my own washing machine and carrying a basket of clothing through a heated home to drop in the washer. That would be so much easier, I complained to myself. Meanwhile my baby was crying and I had to trek out to get more quarters. Every week was the same. Multiple trips in and out of the snow and stairs. Each time I became a bit more disgruntled and frustrated.
Lucky or Unlucky?
One afternoon I attended a lecture up at the university given by a positive psychologist named, Shawn Achor. He was doing research on law students, who are known to be some of the least happy in their careers compared to others and and have some of the highest suicide rates of any profession. In his early research on happiness, one of the biggest determinants of happiness was the thoughts that individuals compared to their situation.
He shared a scenario of a man who walked into a bank and was shot in the arm. He asked people if the man was lucky, or unlucky. About half of the people responded that he was unlucky, because most of the time when people go into the bank they are not shot. However, half of the respondents said that he was lucky, because he could have been shot in the heart and died. Interestingly, the thought they compared to the situation determined how they thought and felt about it. I was fascinated by the idea of determining my perspective by choosing the thoughts I compared my situation to.
Lucky Laundry
The next week when I did the laundry and caught myself grumbling about how hard my task was, I stopped. Instead I thought about when I had lived in Africa. We had to haul water up from the well in buckets. Then, we heated it and washed our clothes by hand with powdered soap in buckets. The red dirt made clothes impossibly stained and it seemed like no amount of scrubbing remedied the mess. When we had washed and rinsed the clothes, which often took a couple of hours, we hung them them to dry on clothes lines. We took them down when they were hard and crispy from the African sun a couple of days later.
When I compared doing laundry in my public laundry in Boston to my experience in Africa, suddenly tromping through snow with a baby and carrying multiple loads through doors and down stairs didn’t feel so hard. The convenience of a washing machine and access to warm water through a hose felt luxurious. Being able to simply push a button felt almost magical. Having liquid soap that dissolved easily and having stain removers I could spray on my clothes seemed like such a blessing. Being able to put a load in the dryer and pull out warm, dry clean clothes seemed incredible.
Changing the thought I compared my laundry experience to, changed my whole experience from resentful to grateful–unlucky to lucky.
Be Lucky
What part of life feels unlucky to you?
Feeling lucky is available any time you would like simply by comparing your situation to another situation that helps you see it as lucky. If you just can’t get there, try getting out and working in a less fortunate situation like a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Even watching a movie about war torn countries or challenging times in history can give insight into the abundance that exists in your situation.