We don’t have to WANT to do something, to do it. And in fact, the best way to change the way we feel about something is to do it. Positive outcomes actually reward the brain with happy hormones and the brain learns doing something hard is more desirable than the saved energy or the emotional exposure that we protect by not doing it.
I Don’t FEEL Like It
When I was a freshman in High School, I naively signed up for Cross Country not knowing what I was getting myself into. I showed up the first day in my canvas skimmer shoes, hobbled my way through the 3 mile run and came back red in the face, out of breath and dead last.
My calves hurt, my feet hurt, my EVERYTHING hurt. I was embarrassed and out of shape. I did NOT feel like going back the next day.
I had an amazing Coach—Coach Fergeson. He ran beside me and encouraged me during practice. It was mainly because of him that I kept going back. Slowly my muscles began to be conditioned and eventually I was able to run the whole 3 miles without stopping. I was still last, but not quite so miserably.
If we believe we must “feel” like doing something in order to do something, we will have a difficult time accomplishing much. In psychology, this is called Emotional Reasoning. It’s a concept that means you make decisions based on how you feel. Feelings should certainly be consulted when making a decision. But if we left all our actions to be determined only by the feeling centers of our brains, we would stay in bed, eat chocolate chip cookies and watch Netflix all day. Rarely does the brain WANT to do work, WANT to open up and be vulnerable or WANT to do things that are challenging.
We Don’t Have to FEEL Like It
In fact, in the new book “What the Brain Wants and Why We Should Do Exactly the Opposite,” the author explains that the brain’s primary motives are geared toward basic survival. This means avoiding pain, increasing our efficiency and seeking pleasure. While these things may have helped our ancestors survive, in a modern world they can actually sabotage our happiness.
There are very few physical threats, life is already very efficient and pleasure is available at the touch of a button or by opening a package. In fact, we need to learn the difference between when these basic survival skills help us (such as when we touch a hot stove), and when they hurt us (such as not getting out of bed).
Just Do It
Even though I never FELT like going to practice, I stuck with it. Pretty soon, other things besides my coach began motivating me. I made friends on the team, I started working for personal bests on my time and I discovered running had the most amazing after-run high.
I went on to run four years of Cross Country with my high school time and running became a life-long sport for me. During college, I built up to running half-marathons, marathons, and tri-athalons. I recently ran my first Spartan Obstacle Race.
Because I was willing to overcome my brain’s desire to avoid pain, I grew to love and crave exercise. I notice my day isn’t the same without it. The physical and emotional health and sense of accomplishment I have gleaned from showing up when I didn’t feel like it has blessed me over the past 20 years.
When our higher brain knows something is good for us but our lower brain doesn’t FEEL like it, we would be well served to follow the Nike slogan, “Just do it.” When you can’t, channel your inner Coach Fergeson and encourage yourself along the way trusting that once the brain gets enough times of recognizing the benefits, the lower brain will take over and begin “feeling” like it.
Getting It Done
What do you often not FEEL like doing?
1. Recognize your brain is doing it’s job to try to avoid discomfort and be efficient. But also recognize that in this case you might need to override your brain’s base motivation with your higher brain knowing you’ll be happier in the long run.
2. Just do it. Doing the thing you least feel like doing is the best way to reinforce to your brain that this activity actually is beneficial!