My daughter and I recently read the story of the Princess and the Pea.

I realized it holds an important lesson about people-pleasing.

The princess could have people-pleased her hosts and said she had a lovely night of sleep.

That would have seemed gracious but, it would have also been lying.

And, if she had people pleased them, she never would have been able to get to her “happily-ever-after” by marrying the prince.

The mother of the prince would have never known that she was indeed a princess.

The truth and happiness go together…even if it’s awkward.

Telling the truth is actually much more connecting than trying to tell people what we think they want to hear.

Recently one of my daughters asked me a question. 

I knew the truth might hurt her feelings.  I was tempted to give a nuanced answer or fudge the truth. 

But, I instead I told the truth. 

It DID hurt her feelings. 

However, it also created space for us to have a really important conversation. 

In the end she was able to leave the interaction feeling loved, and supported. 

I left feeling loving and honest.  We both felt connected to each other…by the truth.

People pleasing is lying and it rarely gets us to our happily-ever-after.

The truth is what connects us, even when it’s awkward.