Our school went to distance learning about almost 9 weeks ago. While we were grateful they were offering something in leiu of not being able to attend in-person, it was a huge change for our family.

Suddenly all of us were home all day. I had been used to having a little time to exercise, clean up, do errands, and work on my business. Now there were four little ones who needed help all day.

Figuring out distance learning was overwhelming. Especially trying to hep each of my kids who were all on totally different levels. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep my youngest entertained. We were also trying to navigate distance learning with a limited number of devices.

All of our tempers were a bit shorter. I felt more easily frustrated because I was overwhelmed and didn’t feel I had time to re-charge. My kids were fighting more because they were together constantly. I definitely wasn’t enjoying the process.

Have To

I was feeling resentful and frustrated. One day, I sat down to coach myself. I knew that doing distance learning with my kids wasn’t causing my feelings. It’s always our thoughts about our circumstances that cause our feelings.

I asked myself why I was feeling resentful and frustrated. I had thoughts like, “I don’t want to do this,” and “This is so hard.” “I wish I didn’t have to do this.”

It’s normal to feel negatively about new or challenging circumstances. I was disappointed that I couldn’t do things I enjoyed doing. But, I also realized I didn’t like how I was showing up as a mom when I felt frustrated and resentful.

I was hurrying my kids along and not being as patient as I would have liked. I definitely wasn’t enjoying or relishing the process.

So I challenged my thoughts.

First, I asked myself, do I HAVE to do it? I reminded myself that I could lock myself in my room and let the kids run wild. I could hire someone to come and teach my kids. I could totally ignore school and we could watch movies all day. I could move out.

Want To

As I considered this, I realized I didn’t HAVE to do distance learning. However, as I thought about the alternatives, I realized I really DID want to do it.

Even though this situation wasn’t one I would have chosen, I did WANT to take care of my girls. I did WANT to be part of their education. I wanted to make it a wonderful experience. I wanted to have fun with it. I WANTED all these things MORE than I wanted personal time and time to work on my business.

Why It Matters

As I decided what I really wanted, I stopped feeling resentful. It wasn’t like some external circumstance was being thrust on me and taking over my life. Instead, I took back control over my life and how I felt. I decided to embrace it and WANT it on purpose.

Wanting it looked like, sitting next to my second grader and teaching her the craft of writing a story and working on her spelling instead of checking the box and getting it done. It looked like going to craft store and designing a life-size sarcophagus with my fourth grader and laying on our stomachs researching ancient Egypt together. Wanting it meant I was naturally more e patient teaching algebra to my seventh grader. And, I found that with my little one, I had so many more ideas about how to keep her learning during this time. Instead of constantly shoeing her away while I worked with the other girls, I started getting excited about teaching her letters and found so many fun ideas on-line to do with her.

The difference between feeling you HAVE to do something and feeling you WANT to is subtle.  However, the motivation that comes from want is much more powerful in generating commitment, patience and enjoyment.

Own It

The truth is you don’t HAVE to homeschool your kids or even take care of them.  But, you might want to. If you WANT to homeschool your kids, own it.  Stop telling yourself you don’t want to.  Choosing to want your situation is so much more fun.