I HAD EVERYTHING I COULD WANT,
BUT I WAS OVERWHELMED AND FRUSTRATED.
BUT I WAS OVERWHELMED AND FRUSTRATED.
Several years ago, I had everything I could want.
I had an amazing husband, 4 beautiful daughters, strong faith, and a supportive family. I had an education as a dietician, wonderful friends, and my husband’s job as a diplomat that let us travel the world with our children.
I knew I SHOULD be happy. I WANTED to find joy in my life–and there were certainly moments of that–but mostly I felt overwhelmed and irritated with myself and everyone around me.
I HAD LOTS OF EXCUSES WHY I WASN’T HAPPY.
I had lots of reasons why I was miserable.
- I had to move frequently and be the one to help everyone in the family find their footing and build a new life.
- A couple of my children struggled with anxiety and it was painful to watch them struggle abroad.
- My mother passed away while I was living overseas.
- Connecting with family and friends back home was challenging with the time zone.
- I had some postpartum depression after having my babies.
- I couldn’t work in my field because of visa issues and other restrictions.
- I did my best to tough it out and make things work. But, as time went on I became more exhausted, resentful, and eventually depressed.
I tried lots of things to feel better–and some helped but eventually I found myself back in a hole of discouragement.
LOTS OF EXPATS STRUGGLE ABROAD
0
%
of expats struggle with depression or anxiety
0
%
UP to 80% of TCKs may struggle with depression or Anxiety at some point in their life
0
%
rate of broken assignments, due to unhappy spouses
References:
BGRS. Global Mobility Trends Survey. 2017.
Caligiuri, Paula & Hyland, Maryanne & Joshi, Aparna & Bross, Allon. (1998). Testing a theoretical model for examining the relationship of family adjustment and expatriate’s work adjustment. The Journal of applied psychology. 83. 598-614. 10.1037//0021-9010.83.4.598.
Truman, S. Sharar, D. & Pompe, J. (2011) The Mental Health Status of Expatriate Versus U.S. Domestic Workers, International Journal of Mental Health, 40:4, 3-18, DOI: 10.2753/IMH0020-7411400401
Wells, L, Kubr, J. (2023) Counseling TCKs Therapist Training Part 1&2. TCK Training
Valantin, C. (2015). Lifestyle, sleep quality and mental health of Hong Kong expatriates. Alliant University Hong Kong. ProQuest Dissertations Publishing.
GET WEEKLY TIPS FOR EXPAT MOMS ABOUT HOW TO FEEL BETTER
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
-Theodore Roosevelt
NOTHING EXTERNAL CHANGED.
BUT I CHANGED AND THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
Finally, I found a great therapist, and eventually an amazing life coach. Therapy helped me see what was happening and get back to baseline. Life coaching offered me some amazing new tools that completely changed everything for me. I began to learn how to feel my feelings instead of react, resist or avoid them. I began to recognize my limiting or distorted beliefs and the impact they were having on my life. As I did, I began to be able to re-write some of my “stories” I thought were just the way things were.
Everything changed. Although we still lived abroad, our children still struggled, I still lived far from family and didn’t have a job in my field, I began to see life differently.
NOW I CAN HONESTLY SAY I’M HAPPY MOST OF THE TIME.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, I felt motivated and confident. My anxiety about my children changed to peace–knowing that hard things are good for my kids, and I don’t have to “fix” them.
I stopped pinning my worth on how others saw me, which reduced my drama about people-pleasing. My faith in God was strong and my ability to feel his love and influence is so much more magnified.
Feeling better, I was able to finally be the mom I wanted to be.
Of course, there is still irritation, overwhelm, and discouragement….it’s part of the human experience. But I don’t live there most of the time.
WHAT’S YOUR STORY?
Just like me, all of us have “stories” that aren’t serving us. What’s YOUR story?
Learn how to recognize and re-write YOUR story with this free video course.
IT’S POSSIBLE TO FEEL BETTER.
I’ve come to really love and enjoy expat life! I love living and mothering abroad. I wish that I had these tools for improving emotional health and navigating life abroad many years ago. I am excited to share the tools that helped me, with you.